I'll bet she douches with gravy.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Vodka?
Forever.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
