my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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