it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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