It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
