Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
