North Korea, Best Korea!
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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