Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
