It's like God shit irony all over that family
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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