Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
