I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
