do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
