Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
