It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
