I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
