My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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