I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
