i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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