Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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