Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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