I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
