So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
