you traded sex for a burrito?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
