is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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