were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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