And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
