i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
