Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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