i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Randomize
