FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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