She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
