Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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