First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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