His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
