If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Randomize
