You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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