Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my phone needs a breathalizer
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Sorry about my life...
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
