She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
