You can't special order awesome
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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