how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
