I hate all girls vehemently.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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