Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize