I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
