I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
