booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize