Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
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I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
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Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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