Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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