My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Randomize
