Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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