wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
they need to just BURY HIM!
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
