I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
