they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize