"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
