no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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