yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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