Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's blow job season.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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