Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
