youre lurking in front of me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Boobs speak an international language.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
