I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
My life is pants optional.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
