they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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