we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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