i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
