tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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