i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
How external is "for external use only"?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
